A great birthday weekend

On friday I turned 35 and it was definitely the best birthday I’ve had for a while.

I drove down to London on Thursday & stayed with Karl and Ann in Leyton and they made me feel very welcome; we had a nice dinner and I then collapsed on their sofa-bed for the night.

Friday was the UK PHP Conference which was excellent and well worth the trip up to London by itself (not that I need much of an excuse). I sloped off early and made my way over to Bethnal Green and my old offices at Exponetic. Karl has upped the headcount to 10 full-time now and it was funny to see how he has really crammed them in; rumour has it that there is a move to something much bigger in the near future.

A few of us left at 6ish and headed off to a pub at the south end of Brick Lane as we’d made arrangements to meet up with a number of the WAUK (mostly ex Freelancers.net) lot and soon there was circa 20 people there. Around 9 we headed off for a curry at a BYO place off Mile End road and I think it’s safe to say that a great laugh was had by all. I’ve posted up a few Phonecam movies on youtube.
Saturday my poxy body-clock still woke me up at 7am even though I didn’t get to bed before 1am  but I made the most of it and headed into town. I bought loads of new clothes and also had the best fish and the chips I have ever had at a place near Covvy G before heading back to E10 for excuse #2 for being in London. Yes an Orient home match; I’m pleased to say that the O’s kicked Tranmere’s sorry asses and my drive home was all the more pleasant for it.

Today was my pretend birthday for the kids so I opened up the presents, the highlight being a Nigel Slater cookbook, before getting down to the serious business of finally taking a look at the bike that had been delivered whilst I was away.

MY NEW RALEIGH GRIFTER

Raleigh Grifter

I got it off eBay and whilst it has got to be at least 20 years old it’s immaculate as apparently it’s spent all that time in someone’s loft, oiled, so other than a few minor scrapes it’s as good as when it was bought. If I were sensible I’d now store it for a further 20 years but I’m not so from tomorrow I shall enjoy using it on my already short commute to work.

As I say, a great birthday.

UK PHP Conference 2007

Yesterday I attended the UK PHP Conference 2007 which was organised by the guys at PHP London; it was held Keyworth Centre a part of South Bank University which is near Elephant and Castle tube.

The first talk was on mashups by Cal Evans which was an interesting account of how he went about creating a PHP/AJAX UPS parcel tracker for a client. He went through various iterations of the tool’s development including refactoring for different approaches: Synchronous and asynchronous, JSON and XML. I came away from his talk determined to look at the Simple XML functions which support XPath a technology that I used many moons ago with success for a client-side project.

Then there was what for me turned out to the most interesting talk of the day by Simon Laws. It was entitled Web services – drop it into Apache and away you go! and turns out that this wasn’t a dry talk on some new apache module (they could really do with re-working that title), rather it was a relevant and frankly fascinating introduction to the SOA PHP project. The blurb on the project’s homepage states:

The aim of the SOA PHP project is to create, as a community, an infrastructure that simplifies the development of PHP applications in a service oriented architecture environment (SOA).

This project is based on independent technologies that support this goal:

  • Service Component Architecture (SCA) provides a very easy way to create and access services
  • Service Data Object (SDO) provides a uniform interface for handling different forms of data and provides a mechanism for tracking changes in data

So if you’ve got an application to build that has components on different machines (who doesn’t in this asynchronous web 2.0 world) then the faffing around sorting out the communication between the various components is completely abstracted by this tool. Very cool.

There were a few understandable grumblings from the audience relating to its usage of PHP Documenter comments to define the various services – a relevant concern as it could makes ones code rather ‘magic’ – but as I say a well delivered and extremely interesting topic that I will certainly be doing some more investigations into.

Straight after lunch (which as good, and included)  there was a talk by Kevlin Henney called “Objects of desire” where he mingled the history of Object Orientations development with a sort of (prepared) question and answer session relating to PHP’s OO support. A bad slot for him to get on what could have been a very dry and sleep inducing subject but it was interesting, he delivered it with style and got a large and deserved applause at the end; he’s obviously a natural speaker.

Then Rasmus Lerdorf dropped in. There was a  comedy of errors for about 5 mins where Kelvin (who was just finishing up) was told that he couldn’t answer questions and instead the audience got to watch Rasmus fiddle with his laptop up and try – and fail – to get his wifi set-up. Rasmus seemed to be in a belligerent mood – maybe he’s like that all the time, who knows – and didn’t seem too impressed with the broken network access. That said his talk was interesting and revolved around how one can massively improve a scripts performance by looking at what it’s doing under the hood. He used a tool called Callgrind  to see at a low level what was going on and then used this information to re-factor the script to perform better. He ended his talk with a general what’s new with PHP 5.2 round-up and then answered 5 mins of questions.

The last talk was called Designing for the Curious Home by Bill Gaver however I skipped it and went to the pub instead.

In summary it was a great success and I’ll definitely be going next year. The PHP London guys should be very proud of themselves.

Abbey business banking review

I’ll keep this brief as I don’t want to spend any more time on Abbey than I need to but if you are considering switching to them because of their free business banking service my recommendation is that you:

DO NOT USE ABBEY BUSINESS BANKING SERVICES

it’s like a death by paper-cuts; many small and irritating things will start to happen, bleeding you dry.

It’s a half-assed implementation of a business banking service; quite obviously a trial that has gone wrong. Their business banking laughably referred to as ‘online banking’ is a good example of this. It WILL go down regularly and you WILL be unable to do online transactions. You will also get fobbed off with lame ‘technical’ reasons for this happening that put the blame back onto you and your ‘firewall’ which after application of even rudimentary networking theory turns out to be utter bollocks.

One day we had enough and went to the HSBC in the village and asked them to become our bank. “No problem” we got a visa debit card with a 30 day credit option, like a mini overdraft which is great and we get to walk over the road to pay cheques in now. They, like all other banks offer a switcher service so all DD’s and standing orders are copied over. So we sign a letter telling Abbey to let HSBC discuss our account then left HSBC to get on with it.

Some time elapses

It’s our quarter end so this Sunday we went online to pay ourselves a 3 month dividend plus to sanity check that cashflow was not lying and that there was indeed enough money get a chq raised for the VAT man; all basic, basic stuff for a small business.

Going online didn’t work, we rang up of course they are not there, so we waited a day. Then we rang up again and got an IP address to access the service (after side stepping a number of ‘have you checked your firewall’ type questions) so it now works. When we got to the account listing page our main account is *gone* an we’re left with the reserve account that has about 20p in. After a small panic we came to the conclusion that Abbey had probably totally screwed up and closed our account early – see how they’ve managed our expectations so well that we expect the worse.

No problem, screw Abbey we can use our new bank to pay us and Mr VAT man. Umm, no, actually there’s only the money that we’ve been paying in over the past few weeks from cheque payments, nowhere near enough, where’s our money gone?

Turns out that Abbey closed out account -even though told not to – and then SENT A CHEQUE to HSBC
which took 4 days to get there and we’ll now have to wait a further 5 days, actually 7 because of the weekend, to get our money. As a nice addition they also neglected to send the details of each payee with the DD’s and Standing orders so, whilst we so helpfully have the names, we have to ring back up our suppliers and get the bank details to get everything set up manually again.

Deep breath

Luckily for us all our suppliers and been paid this month and the wages had already been paid so it’s turned out to be an inconvenience only, but it could have been much worse.

It’s also worth pointing out that I know the other banks have many horror stories and are by no means perfect but I simply can’t believe that they could do a worse job than Abbey.

That gentle reminder :

DO NOT USE ABBEY BUSINESS BANKING SERVICES

Here’s a few more satisfied customers like us at Siftware:

A petition worth signing

If you live in the UK then unless you’ve been sat in a hole for the past few weeks you’ll have been sent, umpteen times, a link to sign up to a petition telling The Government to stop being silly about tracking our cars blah, blah, blah.

I have not bothered signing because IMO it’s such a ridiculous and doomed to fail idea that’ll it never fly – how many gov ‘IT’ projects go tits up? – plus it’s not like they can’t already track us by our mobile phones.

Anyhoo, I recently became aware of a much worthier petition:

We, the people of Britain, feel that our current National Anthem has lost a bit of its sparkle.

When we are confronted by the rare occasion of us winning a medal at the Olympics, we all have to mumble through “God Save The Queen”, well God help us in 2012!

We would thereby like to table the suggestion that we change the National Anthem to something more modern and appropriate and that will re-invigorate our pride.

What we specifically want to see, is that the National Anthem be changed in favour of “Gold” by Spandau Ballet.

Further, we would like our National Olympic Committee to decree that Tony Hadley is the only person permitted to handle medal ceremonies where the National Anthem is played.

We don’t mind what he wears when he does this, but preference is given towards a a gold colured suit.

Sincerely,

I urge you to make your voice heard:

http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/goldanthem

Daddy IT’S SNOWING!

This morning at 7AM the two 4 years olds that we share a house with came in to tell us that it had BEEN SNOWING and according to them this was very much A Good Thing. Also, apparently, it was in my daddy job description to make a snowman for them RIGHT AWAY.

Knowing that the snow probably wouldn’t last long I shrugged off sleep, wrapped up and promptly set to making a snowman whilst the rest of the household watched me from the (warm) kitchen whilst they had their breakfast.

It turned out alright if I do say so myself.
small-picture-033.jpg

Building a snowman

Organic Snowmangirl with Leeks for hair, mud for eyes and a carrot for a nose, all from the garden. Those of you with sharp eyes can see that she is indeed wearing a Leyton Orient scarf

Organic snowman

Anyway after snowball fights with the kids and other snow related mirth it was back to the real world with a bump. Turns out that as expected a light dusting of snow has brought the area to a standstill. To be fair it’s a lot more rural then we’re used to so a lot of the smaller roads are dangerous to drive on but it does mean that – exciting for the kids – SCHOOL WAS SHUT. Great, this meant that Cathie couldn’t come to the office today, cancelling a meeting.

Our house

My walk to work was pretty. I still have to pinch myself now and again when I rememeber how lucky I am to be able to have a 10 min walk to my office every day.

Welcome to Upton-upon-Severn

Upton looking pretty

Upton looking pretty

Iain made it in, good man.

Iain made it in

My first impressions of Windows Vista

My action pack update came in a few weeks back with the Vista upgrade disks and today I had a spare few mins so figured I’d do a practice upgrade*. So I copy one of the Win XP testing VMWare virtual machines boot it up and over lunch install Putty, Photoshop CS2, Fireworks, my PHP IDE, the MySQL GUI that I use and a little screen ruler app; not everything that I use but the stuff that I need to be productive. I then run the upgrade disc.

I get asked to enter serial number and then there are two options “Upgrade” or “Custom (advanced)” which is basically install from scratch. Unfortunately “upgrade has been disabled” because I don’t have 9.6 GB free on the partition (I give the VM 10GB as I thought it’d be enough for testing) so I click custom where I get to see the partition information, unfortunately from this route it says that I cannot continue because it needs 6.4GB free and I only have 5.3. After this message it also says “To make changes to partitions, restart windows from the installation disc”

So I do this (after some VMWare BIOS shenanigans getting it to boot from DVD) and eventually get the serial number entry box again. This time after typing it in I’m told that my serial number is only suitable for upgrading so I should load up windows and run the setup program again!

Gah! I’ll try again with a larger VM Instance the next time I have a ‘spare’ hour.

*For the record I’m not normally this anal, but I can’t afford to be without a computer for a day if it screws up.

I hate Macs

I don’t, actually, but I have been mainly a PC user since the days of MS Dos and whilst I use Linux daily and own an old iMac (for testing, about to upgrade it to a Mac-mini), if asked I would definitely describe myself as a Windows user.

With this mind I found this recent article by Charlie Brooker – where he takes offence to the recnt mac ads starring David Mitchell and Robert Webb – rather amusing.

Here’s some highlights:

I hate Macs. I have always hated Macs. I hate people who use Macs. I even hate people who don’t use Macs but sometimes wish they did. Macs are glorified Fisher-Price activity centres for adults; computers for scaredy cats too nervous to learn how proper computers work; computers for people who earnestly believe in feng shui.

But then, if the ads were really honest, Webb would be dressed in unbelievably po-faced avant-garde clothing with a gigantic glowing apple on his back. And instead of conducting a proper conversation, he would be repeatedly congratulating himself for looking so cool, and banging on about how he was going to use his new laptop to write a novel, without ever getting round to doing it, like a mediocre idiot.

Ultimately the campaign’s biggest flaw is that it perpetuates the notion that consumers somehow “define themselves” with the technology they choose. If you truly believe you need to pick a mobile phone that “says something” about your personality, don’t bother. You don’t have a personality. A mental illness, maybe – but not a personality.

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